Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
The world’s image of marriage has been completely messed up by Hollywood. I can remember when I was growing up my dad didn’t like us to watch “chick flicks”. Now that I am older I can understand why he didn’t like us to watch them. Those films only feed us lies: unrealistic expectations of what relationships look like. They could have a great story line, and don’t get me wrong I love watching love stories. But the ones that I have grown to love and watch are the ones that are biased on biblical truth. They show us how to mend a broken relationship, and make us new in God.
Marriage is not easy, it’s two imperfect people coming together choosing to love each other til death do them part. You stand before God and friends and make vows on your wedding day. But somewhere down the road people can change. I don’t believe people “fall out of love”. If they say they have, then it’s because of their own selfishness. Relationships can’t last without God being in the middle of it all. It can be easy to look at the faults of your spouse, and think it’s them with the problem. But truthfully, if that is how you’re thinking then you need to be taking a look back into the mirror and recognizing that you have your own faults and issues as well.
You have to choose to wake up everyday and choose to keep falling in love with your spouse. When God says husband’s love your wife as yourself, that means to love her as yourself, and to never stop studying her. Loving her mind, body, soul, relationships, humanity, her calling, and her maker. Supporting her in all those areas in her life and encouraging her every day. Wives, God have called you to respect your husbands. Respecting him verbally, intellectually, and physically. Men don’t need their wive’s to be their mother. Instead be his supporter. Don’t speak badly about him to your friends. Encourage him with love; tell him you’re proud of him.
Our words can be either hurting, or to build them up in love. We will fail, because we aren’t perfect, but that’s what grace is for. 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Give that grace to your spouse when they need it, because we all don’t really deserve Gods grace. But He loves us so much that he freely gives it to us. So pass that grace on to your spouse.
If you are a believer and your spouse is not, that doesn’t mean you love them any less. You should love them and choose to see them just as God does. You chose to marry them and if you were to love them less, how are they supposed to really know who God is and feel his love, if you just have a bitter attitude towards your spouse? It can be the hardest challenge in your life, I encourage you to get on your knees and pray hard for you spouse and for God to help you to get through the hard times in your life. For God can do the impossible. Don’t think divorce is the answer. God is the answer to your problems. I can tell you that once you’ve experience a relationship with God, you will forever be changed.
You’re spouse shouldn’t be made the enemy, Satan is the enemy and he finds so much joy when he can destroy something beautiful. Don’t let Satan have the victory. Allow God to win in your marriage. Make your spouse your teammate. Start fighting for each other instead of against each other. As I am in a relationship, one of the things we have founded our relationship on is to always fight for “the why”. There is always a reason for why someone responds and acts on things differently. You will never understand or know if you don’t figure out the why behind it. I encourage you to try and fight for the why in your relationship. Take that challenge to see if it will help you and your spouse.
Philippians 2:1-5, Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus.
There are so many hurting marriages out there. Marriages that are struggling because of selfishness and not wanting to sacrifice their own needs. God I pray for them, that you would soften their stubborn hearts to love like you do, and to get ride of the bad parasites in their marriage. Help them to comprehend the way our attitude should be, as it says in Philippians. Help them to understand the needs of their spouse, and to become selfless. Help wife’s to understand how to respect their husband and for husbands to love their wife’s. I pray this all in your Jesus Name, Amen